I sat at the restaurant table frustrated…could this really be happening?
{Their menu had changed again, for the fourth time in a year, and I suppose they think it is creative marketing to always be reinventing their menu.}
But why must they ALWAYS eliminate my favorite dish?
And so I ordered something similar,
…or so I thought.
And I enjoyed the bread with balsamic vinegar and oil,
…once they finally brought it (after spilling it first, all over the table).
And I loved my mango iced tea,
…once they brought more ice so it was actually iced,
…and once they brought Splenda after my 2nd request.
But I never loved my new dish,
…even after the pasta was changed,
…and the new one was brought (now with the wrong sauce full of overwhelming garlic cream).
Could this really be happening?? Inefficiency is SO irritating!
Was it laziness, or apathy, or oversight?…lack of skill, or training, or direction?
“I have a need to get exactly what I ordered,” I thought…
And no sooner had my thoughts raced, and my emotion escalated, that I was jolted by a still small voice…
A whisper to my heart,
…a thought {from Him} that just came,
…screeching to a halt my intense irritation within. {sigh}
Isn’t ALL a gift…even this?
…even the irritation and frustration?
Maybe this is exactly what I needed tonight. Exactly what He had prepared for me. More chances to die to my corrupted-self-centered self.
Moments and chances to take my prideful indignance and my entitlement attitude, and choose instead to smother them with grace-giving,
…to breathe in the freshness and freedom that forgiveness can bring
…to take my love of self and drive it out by nailing an extension of grace in its place.
Even THIS, this irritating restaurant moment, begging grace. With new moments and chances for me to give.
…to emerge in new growth,
…to sprout kindness, and tenderness,
…to overlook,
…and to forgive, with newness of life,
…as I have been forgiven.
For what do I really deserve except death? MY sin and stubbornness a certain irritation to a good and holy God.
Yet because of His generous grace-gift…because of His great love with which He loves us…
I have been given life.
I am justified and forgiven.
I have been pardoned and am alive…
And isn’t just this, more than I actually deserve?
And isn’t everything beyond it also a gift?
Even the trivial irritations and marginal inconveniences…
Even the disorganization and inefficiencies…
All of them presenting me with a choice to follow in my Savior’s footsteps…
To die to self and emerge anew.
To put on humility, reaching beyond myself.
To gain a realistic perspective, {His perspective}, of new moments,
ALL moments, as chances for grace-giving,
…these endless opportunities to emulate the example of my Savior,
…to emerge with newness of life.
…to love as He loved.
…to give grace as He gave.
…to forgive as I have been forgiven.
What a daily journey… an hourly surrender minute by minute, to live…
To really live THIS.
And I wish I could say I seized that moment at that restaurant, and implemented my epiphany at that table. But it was the manager who exemplified the grace, not me, as he removed the charges from our bill. {sigh}
And even though I failed that night, I’m thankful for the lesson of that small whisper from Him, and the many future moments and chances I will have for grace giving. And in them to be being made more and more into His likeness, with each and every new moment and chance.
May your moments of death to self be easier each time, and may your journey lead you to many chances for the giving of graces and the freedom of life it brings!
How has your failure changed you?
r.elliott says
Beautiful, honest post…entitlement attitude…I love being freed from this deep rooted, grace killing heart condition.
Blessing~
Duane Scott says
“Isn’t all a gift?”
Your words have piqued my heart and picked me up.
Thanks.