Undone

As he slammed the car door and walked away, it felt as if part of my heart had been ripped from me. This six-foot-two son’s back, moving farther and farther away. I watched as he opened the front door and walked right straight through, no turning back. How had this impasse even developed? How could this be happening?

And the moments of the years seemed to play before my wet eyes…

• The day I held him in church, trying to keep him quiet, rocking his sweet 3-month-old body, and plastering it tightly to mine.
• The day I kissed him goodbye at Kindergarten and eagerly picked him up, listening to the jabbering description of all that the day had held.
• The nights I scratched his back before bed, and then tickled it too, at his incessant request, and oh how we would talk and share in those evening moments.
• The many rides in the car with transparent talks and bold questions to be answered…questions one only asks when you are both looking at the road, looking dead straight ahead, and you are both changed by the breakthrough into closeness that the topic brings.

And the reality of the now before me.

And sometimes life makes us undone.

And the undoing points me to the only One who can make me whole again. To Him who is the giver of ALL things. To my God who has purposed each moment for my heart, with a certain purpose in ways I may not understand.

And these times are a patch in the road of development…one that is bumpy and uncertain…this quest of his, to detach and be his own.

I used to think all the hard work was done by the one emerging…the adolescent one floundering to find his own way in this world. And yet, from my vantage point now, I’m convinced that the hardest work is done by the one who is being emerged from…the one who has done the investing and the cultivating and the nurturing and the bonding. This detaching process is necessary, and yet so very undoing at the same time.

And in these undone moments, in the reality of this bumpy road I am on, even still, the challenge before me is to give thanks in ALL circumstances.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I will offer my sacrifice of thanksgiving…and accept the challenge to shift my perspective and align my eyes with His.

• To see from His vantage point and to trust in His purpose and plan.
• To have faith that His love for the one emerging is even greater than mine.
• To realize that he is a gift to me for a time, and that really, he is not ultimately mine.

And in all my undoneness, I will choose to rest in His goodness, in His  lovingkindness, and in His promise…to go before me and behind me and be with me in each of these undone moments.

Psalm 139:4-6

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

 

And it is in giving thanks, that the joy comes. A joy that is unspeakable, that is beyond the undoneness of the moments…His joy that is my strength! And the ultimate goal of my very existence, that in ALL things He be glorified through me.

Yes, I am thanking Him for even this…my undoing this day. For in it and through it, may I be becoming more like my sweet Savior by the power of God’s Spirit at work in me, as I surrender all to Him, and offer to Him my sacrifice of thanksgiving.

#934 Being undone and looking to Him

#935  Women of Faith Weekend…truly OVER THE TOP!

#936  Moms group kick-off…a new table with friendly faces

#937 Medicine for reducing the fever

#938 Full moon strong overhead

#939 Crickets chirping in the crisp night air

#940 Cooler weather

#941 A new car that holds us all

#942 A Facebook message from one mama heart to another

#943 Footrubs from my little girls just to stay up

#944 Strong wise words of advice from my husband friend

#945 Mountain silhouette against the lit night sky…my balcony view

In your undone moments, what can you give thanks for? 

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