I place her new baby on her bare chest and the emotion in the room is palpable. We do it at every delivery because it begins the bond.
Skin touches skin,
And oxytocin surges…
And we know from the research, ANY skin touching skin, releases oxytocin, initiating and strengthening the bond.
It’s amazing how touch rivals oxygen, in allowing us to live.
They take one another in, and the vulnerability and rawness begin it all.
And we all need a connection and a bond–someone to bare our soul with.
Twelve years of marriage now, and I still bare my soul to him in the late night hours. And he nods with understanding, fighting the urge to fix it all. And as my chest heaves and the tears fall, he holds me.
As I verbalize my fear and insecurity, his words reassure me I’m not alone. And I have nothing to hide, no secrets to hold, because we’ve never had secrets. We’ve never needed to—our souls always bare to each other, as wrong as it initially was.
Soul connection happens in the bare places…
In the naked places,
The exposed places,
In the skin to skin places.
And God longs to have that kind of intimacy with each one of us…
For us to still our hearts and lay them bare before Him…
To abandon all pretenses,
Shake our shame,
Give over our guilt,
And pour out our pain,
That we can know Him … really KNOW Him.
I think of the Hebrew word yada, which means to know relationally, by experience. It’s the same word used in Genesis 4 to describe how Adam knew Eve, the same word God uses to describe how we can know Him.
Intimately.
Not from afar,
Not as an acquaintance.
He wants us to yada Him–to connect from our soul-exposed places that His love may ooze right in … oozing and easily penetrating the broken places … the places where the bareness of who we are resides.
But so often, instead, we bring to Him the rough and closed-heart places. We require His love to soak through our hardened calloused surfaces—places not bare at all, places not fully surrendered to Him.
Oh that we’d get real with Him and let Him in to satisfy the deepest longing of our hearts…
To know and be known.
The very bareness of the connection giving us life.
And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord. Hosea 2:19-20 (ESV)
Do you have someone with whom to bare your soul?
What has been the biggest challenge to letting someone in?
I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 (15 today) minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:
Bare…
Your writing is lovely, beautiful, and encouraging! How did you do that in 5 minutes? Must be a gift. Truly, deeply, sincerely – thank you, for writing this.
LOL! No, I could NEVER do that in 5 minutes…not like the midnight-first-post ladies…I even edited the bottom to say 15 min for all honesty 🙂 I need time…time to marinate, to pray, to ponder. And then I write, and usually I don’t have time until the end of the day. What an encouragement you are!!
Hi, friend! I just realized you work in labor and delivery…awesome. What a cool perspective that must give you…to experience new life from the beginning over and over. This is so beautifully written…I love it! Blessings on your weekend. 🙂
Yes, it is such a privilege to get to be at births, pure joy! May your weekend be blessed too 🙂
Love this way of looking at God’s relationship with us- especially as I anticipate holding my baby girl close in a few short months! I’m thankful for 15 years with my husband who teaches me to be open before my Lord. Thanks for this post, Jacque!
Beautiful….it’s so tempting to come “clothed” before God. There is just nothing like fresh naked baby skin to skin.
Absolutely beautiful:) Thank you Jacque!!!
Your writing has such a quiet beauty to it, Jacque. Thank you so much
for sharing this with us, and reminding us that it is in those
vulnerable places (‘in the naked places, the exposed places, in the skin
to skin places’) that the truest and deepest connections can happen.
What a wonderful challenge for me- I have a few things I’ve especially
been needing to shed to be completely bare with the Lord. Thankful for
your encouragement to do so today.
jacque, i love this:) for me, the fear of being hurt is always the challenge when it comes to baring my soul. i’m not as aware of making the calculations now as i once was, but i think that in some hidden place, the calculations are still being made. then i have to decide, will i move forward or not. will i open those hidden spots to her and let GOD heal the pain that might be left behind?
He has done it before. He will do it again. On the good days, I move forward.
To be brutally honest is hard to do even with ourselves at times. To bare our souls to another is a risk few of us take. We perhaps tried once and got smashed down in the process and the lesson learned was to pull back and quiet oneself.
A new year is here and maybe this could be a good goal to begin with for a season.
To push ourselves into real relationships who are willing to let us ‘bare our souls’ to them.
Dear Jacque,
Wow…it seemed like every sentence you wrote had a power packed message for me…right where I’m at today, with my marriage and with the Lord. I needed this message today.
Thank you for your openness and transparency. In Christ…Susan