We say goodbye to her just five months after her 90th birthday. And it is ever before me that life really is a vapor, a mist that is here for a time and then gone, vanishing like steam rising in the air.
He plays his guitar and we lead the music and sing “It Will Be Worth it All” … and I play piano in public for the very first time and deliver the eulogy with the goal of fondness and favor, seasoned with optimism and grace. We mingle with gracious people and listen to the fondness of their memories of her too. I hear my dad break as he speaks of His mom. How he apologizes again to that casket right before him for all his ornery ways–all the antics that brought in each of her gray hairs earlier than they may have otherwise arrived.
And I remember.
Even now, I ponder. As if I’m looking for that one missing piece to the end of the puzzle … the one that tells me what it is that people will really remember.
I suspect when that casket is mine what they’ll remember is more how I made them feel and less of anything I ever possibly did.
It will be probably be more about who I was than anything I ever accomplished.
What will matter to those who loved me will be remnants of the essence of me, the memory held by their hearts. Solely based on the impression they’ve formed of me and the feelings those impressions elicited when I was actually there.
And I reflect and ponder now, at 42, with so much of life ahead. And there is great power accessible to me, even now, to choose.
To speak hope into every interaction.
To see the potential in those I love instead of my disappointment.
For my face to exude empathy…
My eyes to connect with theirs and lock right in, saying without words how very important to me they really are.
To give thanks … and ooze mercy,
And to listen when I’d rather talk … and maybe just not even talk at all.
I can choose today to just give myself away.
And what they remember will be the feeling they felt when I was there. The intangible sense they knew was me.
This is what they will remember.
Tell me today … what do you want them to really remember?
I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 minutes (10 minutes today) … flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:
Remember…
Beautiful. I love that thought, and at the same time it humbles me — that what they will remember is how I made them feel. I hope they remember the scent of grace that (I hope) exuded my life. That they found more of Jesus as a result of knowing me. Thanks for your beautiful thoughts.
Hmmm, very thought provoking! Funny, just read a book yesterday on Life Planning, and one of the things the Author spoke about was what one would be remembered for at the end of one’s life and I began to think about mine and the story of Dorcas came to mind. One of my stronger love languages is Acts of Service. I just love to see people reach their full potentials and would do my bit to contribute to that. I do hope I would be remembered for those times when holding someone’s hands through the ‘battles’ and lifting them up to victory without a word was enough. Affirming their person and whilst walking with them, challenging them to see they could go up higher and not settle for average. The prayers prayed in the closet to break the back of the enemy in their lives. The tears shared when times were sour. I hope I would be remembered that I saw the greatness in them and fed it to life. That I was a friend in need and one in deed!
Thank you for writing this. It made me think. Be blessed:)
I had that thought while I was on holidays these past two weeks. What will people remember about me, what will they go home and say? What impression do I leave on those who meet me? good words for today, poignant and thoughtful.
Exactly. I think people will remember less of what we did, more of how we made them feel. Good words for thought here….
Feeling so encouraged and blessed today. I am feeling aroused and awakened by faith, God, and Jesus lately, and it seems He is pointing me in all the right directions for continued encouragement, teaching, and blessings. Your post was so inspiring, and makes me want to aspire to be a better friend, sister, daughter, mother, parent, wife, and child of God. Thank you.
Ahh, the scent of grace…that they find more of Jesus, Yes! This is my prayer too!
Beautiful Bosede…may it be so for us both.
Thank you…have a blessed week 🙂
Lani, thank you for your sweet encouragement…
Thanks Lisa, so thankful you stopped in friend…blessings 🙂
Ah Jodi, I’m with you in those aspirations…thank. you. for blessing me with your words too!
Bless you for touching my heart.
So touching. I loved this: I can choose today to just give myself away.
Thank you so much Denise.. xo
Yes! Longing to choose that right with you today 🙂 Blessings to you Ruth!